How's a Girl Supposed to Choose?
by Jedi Alice
Summary: Baroness Kira Beaumonde is rebellious, charitable, and the Watchdog of 21st century Great Britain. She also loves reading Black Butler. What happens when a great deal of its characters suddenly appear in her Manor house? No idea who I'm setting her up with yet. Open to suggestions.
1. Beauty is Skin Deep

There are many who say that beauty is only skin deep. The Baroness of Beaumonde would disagree with them, as she did not conform to anyone's standards of beauty except her own. With unique magenta eyes, black hair with large pink patches, and rebellious clothes, most would describe her outer appearance as "Cool" or "Intimidating." Not "Beautiful." But to the Baroness, beauty had nothing to do with one's outer appearance. To her, true beauty came from within, and that was obtained by having a kind heart, and she did indeed have that.

Baroness Kira Beaumonde had not been a Baroness for very long, only two years. Yet the people of Great Britain loved her. Despite her punkish sense of style and love for graffiti art, she had one of the kindest hearts ever to grace Europe, and was praised as a modern-day saint. With her frequent donations to charities that supported children, education, animal safety and rights, and victims of domestic abuse, as well as the many charity events she held each year, she had made her name synonymous with philanthropy and the like. This did not mean that she lacked interests outside of charity, oh no. Quite the opposite, in fact. She loved Anime and Manga, her favorite being Black Butler. Call it odd for a modern-day saint to love a story about a demon butler and his charge, but she did. Among them many characters, she loved Sebastian for his love of cats, Finny, for his love of all animals, Snake, as he was half-snake, Pluto, because who couldn't love Pluto? And Gregory Violet, for no adequately explored reason. Probably his love of art.

Thus, aside from attending the many charity events that would be expected of a philanthropist of her status, she also attended a great many manga-cons, often dressing as a Phantomhive Maid. She loved these events, and had even become close friends with the mangaka who came up with Black Butler, Yana Toboso (It was times like these she was glad she was fluent in Japanese!) Because of all this, she was known by many as "St. Kira" or "Madam Red's Double."

However, not long after turning 20, she began to grow very bored with the daily tedium. She craved adventure, and while her family had taken up the role of "Watchdog" after the last family had died out, about six years after the Beaumondes came into power, modern technology made policing the underworld and catching criminals far too easy a game.

If only something new would happen to switch things up for a while. If only...


	2. Are My Dreams Seriously Coming True!

One chilly October morning, about three weeks from Halloween, Baroness Kira Beaumonde sat in her study in Beaumonde Manor. She had a day off from the usual pile of paperwork, thus, she was reading one of her favorite manga, Black Butler, while listening to Run, Devil, Run by Kesha. She smiled at the image of Sebastian using the mustard gas to kill the village crone - rather, Sullivan's horrible excuse for a mother. Serves the evil bitch right, she thought wickedly. I may not be one to hate easily, but I can't stand people who manipulate others into creating weapons of mass destruction. If I ever met that crone in person, I'd have sicced a pack of wolves on her! Then again, I'd need a pack of wolves, first.

Once she finished reading the manga, she set the book back on the shelf, then went down to her art room, where she did all her painting. Putting on a smock so not to ruin her clothes, she picked up her airbrush and began her work on a portrait of Sebastian. Just as she was putting on the finishing touches - a white highlight to his beautiful blood-red eyes - she heard a knock at the door. "Mistress, the next volume of that manga series you so adore will hit the shelf in two hours time," a kind, elderly voice called from the hall. It was her old butler, Greyson. "If you want to procure it, we should head to London soon, before it's sold out. Shall I prepare the car?"

"Yes, please," Kira replied, carefully removing her smock. "I'll be down shortly, I just need to change into a clean outfit that doesn't reek of airbrush fumes."

"Yes, Milady."

With that, Kira hurried to close the windows, then dashed to her privet chambers on the sixth floor. Sometimes, it pays to be fit, as the art room was on the second floor! After discarding her sticking outfit, she donned a pink t-shirt with black cuffs and neckline and a black cross across the front, blue cargo pants with laced-up sides, knee-high-tops that were bright magenta with silver platforms, a single silver stud for her left ear, and her favorite magenta cat-eared hoodie. Pulling up the hood, she hurried down to the ground floor to find her young footman, Johnson, waiting to help her into the car. Unlike Greyson, who had been hired in her grandparents' time, Johnson had only been hired two years ago, when Kira first became a Baroness. Likewise, he was Kira's age, and had a secret crush on his bold young mistress. However, he knew it was a hopeless cause. Kira had turned down a great many men and women who had begged, pleaded, and cried for her hand in marriage. Sometimes, her rejections were decidedly violent... but only when a suitor wouldn't take a polite "No, Thank you," for an answer. He had no particular wish to end up like them. As it was, it was painfully clear that while Kira did a great deal to aid mankind, she had little hope for the people of her world. Despite having a relatively happy and sheltered childhood, she was never oblivious to her kind's tendency to kick each other down to obtain what they wanted, nor to how depraved they could be.

"Thus, she would lose herself in mountains of manga and anime. While their worlds paralleled each other, she could overlook it for the beautiful young men that filled the pages and screens. To her, it was far preferable to this world, where no amount of outer beauty could mask one's inner ugliness.

"Milady," Johnson said, snapping out of his thoughts. "We will be leaving shortly. Are you ready to go?"

"There's a new Black Butler manga hitting the shelves today. OF COURSE I'M READY!" was the young Baroness's excited response. Long gone were the days when a lady wasn't allowed to raise her voice. That was one of the things Kira did indeed enjoy about her era. As Johnson helped her into the car, Kira could barely contain how excited she was about obtaining another manga.

After an hour-and-a-half-long drive, mostly spent watching anime, they arrived in London. After another 30 minutes, Kira finally had her hand on the latest volume of the Black Butler manga (I have no idea which one that it. I only know it's in the Blue Cult Arc. Just go from there, please!). While she did not particularly like the Blue Cult Arc, as it proved to her just how foolish people could be, (that, and she wanted to skin the man who had correctly deduced that Sebastian was a devil alive.), and it seemed a bit unnecessary, as she'd already watched all three seasons, but she was determined to get her hands on every last serialized chapter, no matter how long that took.

"Oh, look over there!" she heard a young girl exclaim in delight. "It's the Sebastian Michaelis dolls! Aren't they cute!?" Kira could only smile warmly as she went over to the shelf the dolls sat upon. Indeed, Sebastian's doll-form was adorable, as it was his chibi form. Checking her bag, she saw she had enough to buy two after tax, while she saw the little girl's spirits fall when she realized she didn't have enough to buy it. With a gentle smile, Kira tapped the girl on the shoulder, getting her attention. The girl looked up at the punk-Baroness with wide, surprised eyes as Kira offered her the twelve pounds she needed to buy the doll. "Thank you, miss!" The girl exclaimed, hugging her, before she dashed off to the check-out to buy the plushie.

After Kira paid for her own items, she returned to where the car was waiting for her, and Johnson helped her inside. Another hour-and-a-half later, they pulled up to the driveway of Beaumonde Manor, and just as they did, the head maid, Sabrine, dashed down the steps to greet them, looking rather alarmed. "Mistress! In the foyer... Black Butler characters... all unconscious... so many gorgeous men!" she got out between pants for breath.

Kira stared at her as though she'd grown two heads. Sabrine, who had been hired only a year ago, was a very level-headed young lady of 16. With blond hair and blue eyes, she looked a bit like Rachel Phantomhive. Sabrine had been living in an orphanage when she and Kira first met, and not long after that, she'd been hired to be the head maid of the Beaumonde Manor. She wasn't one to get worked up easily, which was one of her best qualities in Kira's opinion. So seeing her freaked out, panting, and blushing like a naughty schoolgirl was a bit of a shock. "Johnson, please take my purchases to my quarters," she ordered her footman. Turning to her butler, she said, "Greyson, prepare tea and snacks for our uninvited guests. I shall see to them myself."

"Yes, Milady," the two men said with polite bows as they went to carry out their orders. Kira then followed Sabine to the foyer, where indeed there did lay a large number of handsome men and a few girls on the floor, all fast asleep as though they'd simply collapsed there. She easily identified them one by one by their clothes alone: Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis, the Phantomhive servants, Pluto, Grell, William, Ronald, Undertaker, the Double Charles, the Midford family, Soma and Agni, the Noah's Ark Circus troupe, the Emerald Witch and Wolfram, the P4 of Weston College, and, much to her chagrin, Viscount Druitt.

"Well, it certainly won't do for you all to lay here passed out like this," Kira sighed as she lowered her hood. She dug into her right pocket of her hoodie, and brought out an air-horn. Raising it into the air, she pressed down on the button.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

To say the least, that certainly woke everyone up... well, except for Grell, who continued to sleep like a rock. The majority of reactions to the rude awakening were surprised, confusion at their unfamiliar surroundings, and wariness toward the strange girl in even stranger clothes. The first to recover his composure was Ciel, as she'd expected. "Who the devil are you, and where am I?" he demanded of her, clearly furious."I will explain as much as I can as soon as I wake up Grell," Kira said, striding toward the red reaper, the platforms of her boots clacking on the marble floor. "And Sebastian, I apologize for what I'm about to do." Standing over the flamboyant reaper, she took out a megaphone, turned it on, and yelled at the top of her lungs into it: "ATTENTION, GRELL SUTCLIFF! SEBASTIAN AND WILLIAM ARE FIGHTING FOR YOUR AFFECTIONS! WAKE UP BEFORE YOU MISS IT!"

Despite the newfound ringing in his left ear that left him nearly deaf, Grell shot up at this. "BASSY! WILLIAM!" he exclaimed, throwing himself at whichever one was closer. Will, in this case, easily side-stepped the boy-crazy reaper, making him collapse like a ton of bricks"Alright, now that everyone's awake, I shall explain all that I can as to where you are, how you got here, and why you're here," Kira said, putting away the megaphone and air-horn. "My name is Baroness Kira Beaumonde. Welcome to the 21st century. As to how you got here or why you are here, I haven't the slightest idea!"

* * *

 **A/N: If you're wondering why the Noah's Ark Circus members are still, it's because I like them and I want to give Dagger another chance to win Beast's heart! Aren't I a sweetie? =3**


	3. Explanations and So On

**Previously on "How's a Girl Supposed to Choose?"...**

 _"ATTENTION, GRELL SUTCLIFF! SEBASTIAN AND WILLIAM ARE FIGHTING FOR YOUR AFFECTIONS! WAKE UP BEFORE YOU MISS IT!"_

 _Despite the newfound ringing in his left ear that left him nearly deaf, Grell shot up at this. "BASSY! WILLIAM!" he exclaimed, throwing himself at whichever one was closer. Will, in this case, easily side-stepped the boy-crazy reaper, making him collapse like a ton of bricks"Alright, now that everyone's awake, I shall explain all that I can as to where you are, how you got here, and why you're here," Kira said, putting away the megaphone and air-horn. "My name is Baroness Kira Beaumonde. Welcome to the 21st century. As to how you got here or why you are here, I haven't the slightest idea!"_

 ** _Now..._**

Kira and the Kuroshitsuji characters had moved from the main hall to the spacious home theater, as it was the only room large enough for entertaining so many guests. Greyson soon arrived with enough tea and cakes for all of them, allowing them to eat while Kira explained things as best as she could without revealing the existence of demons or reapers.

"So, to summarize everything, the world we came from is an Alternate Universe set in the past and written about by someone named Yana Toboso, and millions of young men and women have crushes on each and every being gathered in this room?" Lawrence Bluewer summarized everything Kira had just told them.

"Exactly. If you don't believe my words, I have plenty of proof," Kira said from where she lounged in her seat like a goddess on her throne. She drew a remote control from the front pocket of her hoodie, pointed it at the large screen before them, and turned on the first episode of Kuroshitsuji season1. She could not help the impish smile that curled her lips as they all watched in amazement as the many people who's lives she knew so very well stared in awe at the screen. "And that's just the first episode of the first season," Kira said, regaining their attention. "There are three seasons in all, fully detailing the adventures of Earl Ciel Phantomhive and his incredible butler from beginning... to the very _end._ And I am not the only one who knows the story. I don't know how Yana Toboso was able to tell your story without prior knowledge that the characters she believed she came up with were real and existing in an Alternate Universe, but each and every one of you, especially Sebastian, Ciel, Undertaker, Grell, the late Vincent Phantomhive, and Charles Grey, have millions of fans across the globe. If any of them knew that all of you were here, I can assure you we'd have an army of fangirls breaking down the doors and smashing through the windows to carry their idols off and do rather devious things to them."

"Define devious?" Gregory Violet spoke up.

"Incredibly kinky sex torture. That would be my first guess," Kira replied, sipping her tea, seeming completely at ease. "A fangirl is like an incredibly excitable stalker: they would stop at nothing to obtain the one they are obsessed with, consequences be damned. They already know your personalities, but wish to have their way with you and bear your children regardless, and are convinced they can cause you to fall in love with them. In short, it's like an army of Grell Sutcliff."

Ciel, Sebastian, Ronald, and Will, already knowing what Grell was like, all shuddered at the thought of an army of him, wielding weapons of mass slaughter and fangirling over the good-looking males.

"And in the case of the ladies, you lot have _fanboys,_ the male counterpart to fangirls," Kira continued. "They're just as bad if not worse. While I'm not doubting any of your abilities to defend yourselves, until we can obtain clothing that will help you lot blend in for a time, it would be best if you did not wander far from the grounds."

Everyone seemed to be trying to digest this terrifying information before Ciel spoke up. "If there are such things as these fangirls... what exactly does that make you?" he asked.

Kira merely chuckled. "I am simply a fan," she said calmly. "While I do admire a good number of the main characters in Kuroshitsuji, I'm not the kind of girl to force myself on someone, nor am I perverted enough to stoop to rape. You needn't worry about me... though you may need to keep a close eye on my maid, Sabrine. While she is normally quite level-headed, she is a bit of a fangirl herself. If she tries too hard to seduce any of you, please alert me to her behavior immediately. I will see to her discipline. Now, until we can find a way to send you lot back from whence you came, I shall have Greyson assign you all guest rooms for your stay. It is indeed fortunate that my Manor is nearly a castle, or else I'd have difficulty accommodating the lot of you. Greyson?"

"I shall see to it, Milady," the elderly butler said with a bow before leaving to carry out his task.

As he left, Sebastian spoke up. "As we will be imposing on you for an unknown time, I should like to offer myself and my fellow servants in the maintenance of your Manor," he said suavely. "It will surely be needed, what with the number of guests you must suddenly house."

Kira nodded calmly. "I accept your offer," she said, before a stern look adorned her face. "But they shall be under your supervision. I am well aware of their antics, and I do not tolerate ineptness. Understood?"

"Indeed." Sebastian replied, surprised by the girl's order. Her expression had so mimicked his young master's, it was almost... attractive.

"I shall also assist wherever I may be needed!" Agni offered cheerfully.

Again Kira nodded. "Accepted. With so many guests and Earl Grey's exceptionally hearty appetite, I shall accept any and all help you and Sebastian can provide. Now, while rooms are being chosen, it would be best to procure you lot attire from this era, lest you all draw the attention of fangirls and fanboys. Once you are all settled in, we'll head to town and see about finding you all some outfits that will suit your tastes. Meanwhile, feel free to explore my Manor. Just don't break anything."

With that, the cast of Kuroshitsuji began to explore their new temporary home, all the while getting explanations at to how things like TV's, computers, laptops, and such worked. As they explored, Ciel was busy trying to figure out how they'd been transported across time and space to Beaumonde Manor... and then he remembered that the Beaumonde family succeeded the Kelvin Barony about three months after that perverted old man's demise. And how the first-stringers of Noah's Ark Circus were still alive was beyond him. Kira seemed kind enough. Maybe she'd have some theories?

He found her out back, surrounded by birds, rabbits, squirrels, and... a doe? They all seemed to be eating out of her hands, and she seemed happy to provide. "Lady Beaumonde?" He called, frightening off the woodland creatures and catching Kira's attention.

"Earl Phantomhive? Is there a problem?" the young Baroness asked curiously.

"I was wondering if you had any ideas as to how all this could've happened?" Ciel asked. "You obviously know a great deal about us all, so I thought perhaps you might have a guess as to how we all suddenly appeared in your Manor?"

Kira smiled sheepishly. "I wish I did," she replied as the doe returned to eat out of her hand. "I've read about such things happening to ordinary girls, but there was never much of an explanation as to _how_ the characters were transported from their reality to the girl's. The only thing I can think of, far-fetched as it is, is that someone might have the technology to transport others into alternate realities, but that's about it. I'm just trying not to have a mental breakdown here. It isn't every day that a number of supposedly fictional characters I admire suddenly appear out of the blue, after all."

"You seem to be doing a good job of containing your excitement," Ciel pointed out as he sat down on the bench beside her.

"Well, when you suddenly have to take over the responsibilities of running a Barony as suddenly as I did, you learn to keep a level head." Kira rationalized. "But I'm sure you already know how that is."

"You lost your parents, too?" Ciel asked, grateful that Kira wasn't pushing the matter.

"I wasn't as young as you were when it happened, but losing your loving parents at any age is always difficult, always painful," Kira began. "I had just turned 18 the day before it happened. Mother and Father had gone into London to do some shopping, when the store they were in suddenly became the hostage of a terrorist cell, along with everyone in it. Father, like the brave idiot he was, tried to fight them, but they had high-powered weaponry that would make your chef's cigarette fall from his mouth in awe and strength in numbers. An intelligent young man like you can no doubt what became of him."

Ciel couldn't suppress his shudder. "As for Mother, and many other women in that shop, they suffered a fate even worse than death. The terrorists... violated them, then killed them before the Yard could arrive and stop them. But I got my revenge. When the terrorists were sentenced to death, I was chosen to execute them." At this, Ciel looked up at her to see an expression of grim triumph so similar to the one he'd worn when he'd defeated Scarlet Fox house in the annual cricket tournament. "After I'd had time to mourn them, I received a letter from Her Majesty, letting me know I'd soon be honored as a Baroness and expected to take on my parents' role. And I accepted. Ever since, I've been head of the Beaumonde Barony."

"At least you weren't held captive by a cult and branded as I was," Ciel said.

"Yeah, at least," the Baroness agreed. "I'd have to slaughter them all myself if I was. No Beaumonde worth her salt would ever tolerate such humiliation."

They lapsed into silence for a time, feeding the rather docile animals that seemed to flock to Kira, before Ciel spoke again. "Why do they come so eagerly to you?" he asked, gesturing to the woodland creatures.

Kira chuckled. "I have a strong empathy with all animals," she replied. "All I have to do is hum a few bars and they flock to me like children to a candy store. It's a gift all females of my family possess. I can even understand their languages as easily as you and I understand the Queen's English. Most call it being a 'Disney Princess.'"

"What is Disney?" Ciel asked, confused.

"Oh, right, I forgot for a moment that it's after your time," Kira face-palmed. "Long after the demise of the Brothers Grim, and the stories they wrote became Public Domain, a man named Walt Disney bought the rights to fairy tales such as Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, the Frog Princess, and other classic tales of magic and romance, and made them enjoyable for children. The princesses featured in Disney's movies were all beautiful, kind, graceful, and beloved by all. Even animals came to them at their beck and call. Often they had a malicious enemy that hated either them or their parents, or a manipulative suitor who was determined to make the princess theirs even if it meant killing the one the Princess truly did love. The original versions usually had a sad or bittersweet ending, but the Disney versions all have happy endings, as their intended audiences are children. But while I have a few things in common with them, I'm not a vision of beauty, nor am I anywhere near and gentle or helpless. I am rebellious, arrogant, smug, and cynical. I may donate considerably to charities that support humanity, but I have little faith in my own species."

"Understandable, considering most humans are greedy, foolish, petty, manipulative, or any combination of the four." Ciel quipped.

"I blame God and his minions for not acting fast enough to prevent human stupidity."

Ciel chuckled at this. Here was a girl as bitter toward the world as he was, but not bound to a demon. Then again, she seemed to have everything she could possibly want. Time to change the subject.

"Does everyone in this century dress like you?" he asked.

"Only those who can pull it off without looking like an idiot," Kira said smugly. "I'm a punk, so I dress as rebelliously as possible without becoming an eyesore. Even if I lived in your era, I'd never conform to wearing those stupid corsets or overly-heavy skirts. How the female population could bear to wear such ridiculous things, I'll never understand."

"Indeed. You probably already know that I was forced to cross-dress on two occasions," Ciel agreed. "That corset I had to wear was such a pain. Though I do wonder how Aunt Francis will react to this era's fashion for women."

 _ **Time skip to shopping! Yay... I think...**_

"Alright, as there are fewer women to shop for, Lady Midford, Lady Elizabeth, Miss Sullivan, Beast, Wendy, Doll, and Mey-Rin will accompany me to the shopping district first," Kira said, throwing a huge black faux-fur boa around her shoulders. "Also, as Halloween is fast approaching, I'll be purchasing everyone a costume of their choice. Oh, and Sullivan, you can bring Wolfram with you to assist you."

Elizabeth immediately broke into a high-pitched squeal of joy, eager to see what cute things the 21st century had to offer. "Elizabeth, I've told you not to make such noise," Lady Francis snapped angrily. "You are hurting everyone's ears."

"Oh! S-sorry, mother," the girl stammered.

"While there is no need to be so strict in this era, as girls no longer bother to keep their voices down, I'd greatly appreciate it if you refrained from squealing like a stuck pig." Kira growled, before tugging on her boa and turning to the door. "Come on, you three. The mall awaits!"

With that, the eight women and one butler piled into the limo, seven of them greatly surprised that such a large, heavy machine could propel itself at such a high speed as they drove to London. "I'm so excited! I wonder what cute things the 21st century has?!" Elizabeth wondered aloud.

"While it won't be anywhere close to what you are used to, there are indeed very cute outfits for girls of this era," Kira said, though she was getting tired of talking like a stuck-up noble. "I'm sure you'll find something you like."

Francis stared at Kira's... questionable outfit before speaking. "Do all women dress like you, Lady Kira?" she asked, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. "Because I don't think I would look good in such wild clothes."

Kira chuckled. "Only rebels like me can pull this off," Kira said smugly, stroking the fur of her boa. "But not to worry, there's enough styles of clothing to match a thousand personalities. You'll find something you like, don't worry. Oh, and if it's not too much of a bother, please just call me Kira. I don't bother with formalities even in the most formal of settings, except at the dinner table."

"Very well... Kira," Francis said nervously.

"So, we can pick out whatever we want, and ye'll pay for it all?" Beast asked.

"Within reason," Kira stated. "I've budgeted out 5,000 euros for each of you, and if your selections add up to more than that, you'll have to put something back. Just because I'm of noble blood doesn't mean I'm made of money, nor does it grow on trees. I'm spending the same amount on myself, as I've been meaning to buy more clothes and accessories. And I'm sure we can all agree that one can never have too many shoes."

All the girls nodded at this. "So this is what a life as a noble is like? Shopping and spending money on clothes?" Doll asked.

"Only a small part of it," Kira said, shaking her head with a wry smile. "A noble's wealth mainly exists to help the less-fortunate. The Beaumonde family had donated tens of thousands of euros to numerous charities since we came into power after Baron Kelvin's demise."

"Yer the one who replaced Father?" Wendy asked, horrified.

"I'll have you know that Kelvin was killing those kids you abducted by making them do circus tricks with no training whatsoever, and Doc was using their bones to make your prosthetic limbs," Kira pointed out, narrowing her eyes.

"WHAT?!" was how the three circus girls reacted, with them all looking at Beast's left leg in horror.

"Calm yourselves, please," I said, lightly rubbing the left side of my head. "All this shouting is giving me a headache, and I already had one after yelling at Grell. As for the prosthetics, I'm willing to help you get new ones not made from the bones of children, but you'll have to agree to my terms. We can discuss business later, after we've all indulged in a day of shopping. And I still have to help the males shop tomorrow. So let's enjoy ourselves today, shall we?"

The mood lightened, and after several hours of awe-inspiring shopping, it was nearly dinnertime, so we returned to the manor with our haul.

"So this is what it looks like at night?" Sullivan asked, looking up at my not-so-humble abode in awe. "You truly have a beautiful home!"

"Thank you, my ancestors certainly thought so when they had it designed and built," I said. "Come, let's have the servants get you all settled with your new belongings... and hope the males haven't caused any real trouble."


End file.
